Friday, June 15, 2018

Go to Jail! Go directly to Jail!

Well, unless you've been under a rock for the last few hours, you've no doubt heard that Judge Amy Berman Jackson has ordered former tRump campaign manager and the best damn lobbyist for Russian-aligned dictators EVER, Paul Manafort to go to jail!

Her order, more specifically read: "Go to jail! Go directly to jail! Do not pass Go! Do NOT collect $200!" (Sorry. As a boomer who's played hundreds of hours of  Monopoly, I just couldn't resist!)

Poor, poor Pauly! To lock-up he went! Quite the fall from the heavens, wouldn't you say?

Turns out that it's a crime--and a very, very bad thing--to try to tamper with the testimony of a witness in a criminal case where you're the defendant! Who knew?!

Who knew that some of the stuff you send around using these new, very cool apps that encode shit and auto-delete shit from texts can be read from the cloud if one fails to disable the cloud-uploady feature? Who knew that?

Well, Mr. Manafort didn't. And not knowing that is the reason he's wearing one of those stylish orange jumpsuits right now!

Poor, poor Pauly! He'll be in there for many, many months until his very-complex trial starts. Could even take a year or two...

Hey, if you're as torn up about this as I am, here's a bit of consolation: you can mail Mr. Manafort at this address while he's chillin' like a villian! Yeah, this addy right here:

Paul Manafort
Inmate #00045343
Northern Neck Regional Jail
P.O. Box 1060
Warsaw, VA 22572

Pauly's all locked up! Sad!

"Bulldog Ben" Basile

Update on Brother Pauly! Mr Manafort was moved to a lock up facility in the old town part of Alexandria, VA back on July 12th. Numerous reports came out after Bulldog posted this (June 15th), saying that bro Paul had a really sweet deal at the Northern Neck facility. Poor Pauly!

© 2018 Ben Lawrence Basile

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